Unconditional Self Love- The second Golden Key to Psychological and Spiritual Health

The most important relationship in our lives is our relationship to ourselves. There are two types of “love” – conditional and unconditional. The latter being of the spiritual nature, (transpersonal). Conditional love is based on ego (personality based).

Do you love yourself unconditionally? Our ego says our worth and lovableness is based on meeting certain conditions. Do we have to look a certain way, have a high paying job, a high education, be spiritual, meditate, exercise, have the perfect partner in a relationship and so on? None of those things have anything to do with our self-love and self worth!

We can determine where we are on our spiritual path by seeing how much we love our neighbour and how much we love ourselves. We also need to learn to allow ourselves to feel Divine Love. Divine love is like the sun, always shining. It is just a matter of whether we are going to give ourselves permission to step out of the darkness to receive it. 

In the most recent of our classes the focus has been based on us attempting to get out of the illusions of faulty thinking so that we can see our true selves. Our aim is to align our identity with the Divine as we are perfect creations. It is only our ego’s false, negative, pessimistic interpretation of us that makes us feel unworthy or unlovable. Earth is a school, our mistakes are not held against us, in fact, they are lessons where we have choices to learn or to ignore. If we choose learning we grow spiritually, if not, we become stagnant and unfortunately life presents its headaches.  

Remember your thoughts create your reality, your thoughts don’t create truth. Thoughts merely create the reality of the people who are thinking them.

Another aspect of love is the selfish-selfless balance. There is a time to be selfish and a time to be selfless.   To be selfless is to direct your energies towards helping others. To be selfish is to take care of yourself. Walking the spiritual path requires balance.  We are not here to be martyrs and completely sacrifice ourselves for others.  We must learn to be spiritually selfish. To be spiritual is to be of service to others, but never forget service to yourself.

Each of us has an inner child (child consciousness). Think about how parents operate ... some are excessively critical, others too lenient. A firm loving parent helps the child become balanced and well adjusted. The inner child reacts to the same type of parenting. Give that some thought ... how do you parent your inner child? A pattern in the way you treat your inner child may have been adopted from your own real childhood. Was your parents parenting style excessively critical, or too lenient? Also known as learned behaviour where what we know and believe is stored in our subconscious.      

One more note on this – if you are being excessively too critical, this may be a form of child or self abuse? As we learned last week, the subconscious mind is easy to reprogram, rid any of the old abusive habits, and replace with a positive affirmation about a balance form of self parenting.

Besides feeling good about who we are, we also need to feel good about what we are doing and creating in our lives. The critical parent spends a lot of time being a perfectionist in a negative sense, looking for what we are doing wrong. Start a journal to reaffirm the positive things you do and have done and focus on the positive not the negatives.

When you do make mistakes, it is important to keep the critical parent out. It is okay to make observations about yourself or others; this is called spiritual discernment because it is done with unconditional love.

Whatever the mistake, look at the golden lesson of wisdom from the experience; it then becomes a positive experience. If you truly learn from a mistake, you will never have to go through similar suffering again. Tell yourself that you are worthy and lovable even though you made a mistake or error in judgment. Mistakes are positive and unavoidable. Pick yourself up and get on with it. 

A crucial part of self-love is forgiveness. You have a choice of subscribing to a philosophy of forgiveness or to holding grudges. This applies to yourself also. Remember that if you hold a grudge, you are holding it against your child consciousness. Would you hold the same kind of grudge against a real child of yours? 

If you don’t have unconditional self love within yourself, then automatically you end up seeking it outside yourself. Love is a survival need. The ideal is to give love to yourself and to allow yourself to receive Divine unconditional love. If you don’t do this, you end up seeking love, approval and acceptance from other people.  This puts you in a compromised position. Other people become your programmers and the creators of your reality. Your worth is then in their hands. Do you really want other people to hold this power over you? Not having self-love puts a hole in your protective bubble, so when people criticize you, you can’t protect yourself. 

Ideally, you will give yourself so much love, you will feel full and complete within yourself and feel at one with the Divine. You are so filled with love that you can give love to others even if they don’t love you. In essence, you want love, but you don’t need love. You prefer loving relationships but are not attached to getting love.  When you are a self-actualized person, you first form a right relationship with yourself and a relationship with the Divine, before seeking a relationship with others. This is the work of a spiritual path. We all have it within us, however, the only problem is that we think we don’t.                       

SELF LOVE AFFIRMATIONS:

1.      I love and forgive myself totally for all my mistakes, for I now recognize that mistakes are positive, not negative.

2.     My worth is unchangingly positive because it is a spiritual inheritance.  It is not increased by my success or decreased by my mistakes.

3.     I now recognize that everything that has ever happened in my life has been positive, because it all contained lessons I needed to learn.

4.     I choose to live in the now and not hold the past against myself.

5.     I hereby choose to approve of myself, so I do not have to go around seeking approval from others.

6.     I now realize that I am the “I” person, choose, consciousness, and spiritual being, and that this part of me deserves unconditional love at all times.

7.     I deserve love because my true identity is not what I do in life.  I am the chooser of what I do.

8.     I now understand that I am here to learn lessons and grow in life, but if I make mistakes, I am still totally lovable and unchangingly worthy.

9.     I am the master of my life, and I choose to be my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy.

10.  I now choose to awaken and recognize that it was only the faulty thinking of my ego that has caused me not to love myself.

11.  I now, once and for all, release the ego’s game of “having to do” in order to deserve love and worth. I now fully recognize I have always been lovable and worthy and will always be so.

Personal Power... the first golden key to psychological and spiritual health

Personal power can be more effective when there is an understanding of the conscious and subconscious minds. Let’s define Personal Power as the ability to change direction or old conditioning in your life. 

The Subconscious mind – is our warehouse of stored information of all our thoughts feelings emotions, imagining, habitual patterns, impulses and desires. Programmed by our parents, grandparents, peers and teachers all of which have left an impression in our minds.  This programming can result as mental toxins, faulty thinking, and faulty beliefs. The subconscious mind has no reasoning, therefore, stores both negative and positive habits. It continually attracts and repels things according to what has been programmed into it. Eg. If you have the subconscious belief that you will never have money – you won’t. If, your subconscious mind was programmed to believe you will have, it will then attract these exact opportunities and possibilities to you.

The Conscious mind – The key function is to be the programmer, protector, and master of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is meant to be the servant of the conscious mind. Most people not understanding how these psychological laws operate, let their subconscious mind run them. Hence, we become victims. 

Whether it is changing a smoking habit to controlling an emotional reaction. How quickly and efficiently someone changes a behavioural pattern is one way to measure their personal power. Note that personal power is not self discipline. The difference is the desire to change a negative habit.  The stronger the desire the faster the change. Eg. Some people change their negative habits or behaviour when their lives crumble. When ones Spirit has a desire to be in balance, it can overcome a lack of self discipline and find the personal power to do so.       

Are you familiar with that critical voice in your head, your subconscious, which feeds you that negative ego.   If we agree to negative ego states, we effectively hypnotize ourselves into being a person with little self discipline. We use our will power to invest in the belief that we have no personal power and no self discipline. This type of self hypnosis is damaging to our emotional well being. The problem for many people isn’t that they lack personal power and discipline, it is that they have already invested in agreements about being powerless. One very effective method of gaining personal will power is to refrain from agreeing with these sabotaging thoughts that the voice in our head proposes. 

The ability to focus your attention, is a way to navigate through conflicting desires. You may have developed great discipline in focusing your attention in some areas of your life, it doesn’t mean you have mastery in focusing your attention in any situation. It’s like the person who is really good at many things, and has become this way because they didn’t agree with the consequences of failure, so in others words programmed not to fail, and yet can’t find the discipline or personal power to meditate. Their mind has been distracted in other areas through fear of failure, yet other areas of their lives have been compromised. The gardener who plants the seeds is our conscious mind, (creating thoughts of reason), the soil is the subconscious mind, grows whatever kind of seed is planted, be it a weed or a beautiful flower.  The subconscious mind will store information and follow orders whether the orders are rational or irrational. The subconscious mind doesn’t care because it has absolutely no reasoning ability.   

This is why in meditation some find the mind chatter busy with all kinds of thoughts that doesn’t allow the quiet. Then the mind would provide judgmental commentary about thoughts that shouldn’t be there. The problem here is lack of practice to focus attention to the ability to meditate. 

     

If your desire is strong enough, you put the element of time on your side instead of against you. One of the most effective ways to develop personal power is to break energy-wasting habits that don’t serve you. Most people have an extraordinary amount of personal power that they wake up with every day, but they are expending it in their habits and exhaust themselves by the end of the day.

Very often, people commit to make a change in their life yet they don’t have a reserve of personal power to draw from. Because they haven’t gathered any personal power to infuse in a new habit, their commitment to change doesn’t happen and they often feel like failures. In order to be successful in making changes we will first need to gain a reserve of personal power to draw from.

If you were going to add going to the gym to your schedule then you would need to eliminate something else from your schedule so that you would have the time available. The same is true for personal power. As you gain a small degree of personal power, you can use it to break other energy draining habits. Each energy draining habit that you break will return back to you more personal power with which to break other sabotaging habits. The more power you recover, the faster you will be able to break other sabotaging habits in your life.

Imagine the conscious mind as an inner gate or inner bubble that protects us from our own subconscious mind.  When a thought or feeling or impulse arises, it is the conscious mind’s task to use its powers of reasoning, discernment and discrimination to check that thought at the gate. If the thought or impulse is positive and spiritual, we let it into our mind. If it is negative, we push it out. 

By pushing the negative thoughts out of our minds, we are refusing them energy. For the gardeners – what happens when you refuse a plant water, it withers and dies from the lack of attention and focus. Once we push the negative thought out, the second step is to affirm the opposite positive thought or spiritual thought. This is called positive thinking through positive affirmations. A new habit is formed. Remember we have a lot of old programming, therefore a lot of focus and attention is required to make a new positive program. 

It is also essential to develop an outer bubble of protection from other people’s negative energy. The ideal is for us to be the programmer of the subconscious mind.  If we don’t take responsibility for our own programming and protection, then the subconscious mind or other people will run our lives. The ideal is to be the cause, creator and master of our own lives. If these psychological laws aren’t clearly understood, then other people will be our programmers.

AFFIRMATIONS

I am the power, the master and the cause of my attitudes, feelings emotions and behaviour.

I am powerful, whole and complete within myself.  I have preferences but not attachments.

I have perfect mastery and control over all my energies in service of a loving spiritual purpose.

I am the master and director of my life, and my subconscious mind is my friend and servant.

I am a centre of pure self consciousness and will, with the  ability to direct my energies wherever I would have them go.

I am powerful and centred at all times and I will allow nothing this external universe to know me off balance or off centre.

I am 100 percent invulnerable to other people’s negative energy. Other peoples negative energy slides of me like water off a duck’s back. 

I am the cause of my feelings and emotions, not other people. I will not give them this power over me ever again. 

Other people’s negative energy bounces off me as if I were a rubber pillow.

The only effect other people’s negative energy has on me is the effect I let it have.  I choose not to be affected ever again. 

No person, place or thing shall have power over me.    (Short and simple!)

Where did the Negative Ego come from?

The “Negative Ego” was created by humanity. If you look at how humanity was created, the human body came into existence in the current physical form as a result of humanity disconnecting from source, becoming more aligned with material matter and swaying away from that of Source, being -  Divine Energy.

Now, just think about that for a moment. Think of the story of Adam and Eve. Can you see the insight into that story?   Adam and Eve were caught up in the temptation of the apple, humanity is caught up in the materialistic world we live in.  The Serpent that lured Adam and Eve, is the Negative Ego. In humanity our negative ego is our lower self.  

There are two philosophies, one of the higher and the other, the lower self.  If you listen to the lower self, you live a “low life existence”, meaning that you are concerned with the life and material needs of the physical body. However, when you choose to listen to the higher self, your soul purpose, you are living a “high life existence”.  

Since our thoughts create our reality, which philosophy we choose determines what we see.  In truth, we see not with our eyes, but with our minds.  We will have negative emotions if we think with our negative mind.  We will have positive emotions if we think with our spiritual mind. Our thoughts create our feelings, emotions, behaviour and physical health or lack of.

When a negative ego tries to enter your mind, just deny it access and push it out. Switch your mind like a channel remote to positive and more spiritual thoughts.  This is the concept of denial and affirmation.  This is a process you use hundreds of times a day. 

Take charge of your thoughts, you are the boss of your personality – therefore choose what you think.  Angels, Ascended Masters etc cannot do this for you as you have free will to act.  It is why you are here.  The more you keep your thoughts in the light energy, the dark negative thoughts will die from lack of energy and a new positive habit will be formed in your subconscious mind making it easier to be positive. 

It may be a strange thing to say, but in actual fact the negative ego really doesn’t exist, we create it. The essence of the negative ego is fear, separation and self centeredness.

Your reality has everything to do with how you interpret life.  To illustrate this, let’s look at how to flow with the Universe instead of fighting it.  The highest of the Angelic Realm and Ascended Masters would have us bless and give thanks for everything that happens in our lives including our lessons.  The negative ego cannot bless and give thanks because it does not interpret things as lessons, challenges or gifts.  It curses and gets angry when its attachments and or expectations are not met. The key is to bless everything that comes into your life and welcome adversity and everything that comes into your area of influence, accept it as there is a reason for everything.

As discussed so many times before, our lessons are to balance the four bodies – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.  We are to:

·       love self and carry self worth,

·       we are to own our personal power at all times,

·       learn to re-program the subconscious mind,

·       defend our own energetic fields,

·       right human relationships,

·       care for your physical vessel.

Visualize the four bodies as tubes of energy that are all filled to the same level.  You can’t be too spiritual and let the physical body down, you can’t be too physical and not be balanced mentally or emotionally.  Each tube must be evenly filled.  The consequences are that the imbalances will create a whole host of problems. 

The chakra system runs on the same principles – that is when they appear or feel over active or  there is a sluggish flow of energy flowing through, affecting our wiring system in turn causing negative manifestations on all levels of our existence. 

We are existing in a time of great change and spiritual growth. We are learning and receiving activations in an accelerated fashion. Our life time is about achieving self realization which brings us back into clearing not only our individual karma but also planetary karma. As we begin to clear karma, our higher self and our soul and as you are aware we are all interconnected somewhere. We are merely a spec of that the greater and bigger picture, but each and every little spec has a service to complete, some in this life time, some in others, but eventually it is all for the one Divine purpose. You can only start now with self and the more people that do, the stronger the vibration becomes and the more humanity will grow. 

How do you know when you are out of balance and in balance?  Physically, we feel it as fatigue or tend to lean to improper diets, emotionally it shows in mood swings or negative emotions, mentally it comes out as negative thinking.  

A balanced person has detachment but is also very responsive to self, other people and life. Balancing the four bodies should not lead you to a point of stillness. Being in balance is more like being able to make the appropriate adjustments easily within our individual body.  

Each part of us has a voice, except the negative ego. Our three minds being the conscious, subconscious and super conscious, our child/parent consciousness, our awareness of our seven major chakras our soul personality and lessons have a vast communication system within us which we must stay attuned to and honour. When we don’t, imbalance occurs and like dominoes falling, can lead to a whole host of other problems.

Next: Personal Power – the first golden key to Psychological and Spiritual Health.

Soul Psychology

As spiritual development pupils, there are many aspects about who we are that we must consider and understand as we discover our soul journey.  We are searching for inner peace, a wholeness within our being, a connection to all that is which ultimately is our life purpose.

Mankind in general has been very distracted. There has had an obsession with material expansion at the expense of focusing on their spiritual development and mankind has failed to see the degree to which an individual’s relationship to the spiritual self affects his or her spiritual life.  In other words if we are not right with ourselves, then every relationship in our lives is compromised including our work, family and most importantly Divine Source.   

There are three levels of self-actualisation – the personality level, the soul level and the monadic level. The monadic is the part of self that is one with the universe. One of the basic beliefs underlying soul psychology is that we can choose between two ways of thinking in the world. We can think from the negative ego mind- self centered and dualistic, separated from the Divine, and based on fear – or we can think from the spiritual mind. Traditional psychology tries to heal us from within the negative ego’s web. 

It is essential to understand that the negative ego is the one real problem that affects us all. The negative ego does not interpret experiences in our lives as lessons, challenges or gifts.  Rather, it curses or gets angry when its attachments/expectations are not met.  The negative ego is the root of all negative emotions, all negative thoughts, all negative behaviours, all relationship problems and poverty consciousness (lack of money and real success).

Anytime we get out of balance, the negative ego is the cause. We have to decide which voice we are going to listen to.  Will we listen to the voice of fear and separation or the voice of perfect love and union? Will we listen to the voice of self-centeredness or that of selfless love?  Through our thoughts our emotions and behaviour are magnetised into our lives. If we allow negative ego to dominate us, then we will create a negative reality for ourselves, we will attract negative elements into our lives, and all these negative influences will only make us feel and believe and behaviour more in a negative manner. 

Most of humanity still longs for inner peace, happiness and success, yet they have not been instructed on how to become masters of their subconscious minds.  Nor do they understand how to integrate the conscious, subconscious and superconscious minds, balance their four bodies (spiritual, mental emotional and physical. They don’t realise how “cause” and “ effect “  influences their circumstances.  

Humanity has fallen short of this mark because what we most need to learn is not taught in schools, at home, or in our church. Most counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers don’t yet fully understand the basic principles of soul psychology. Most of them are doing great work and should be commended; however, they have not moved into the realm of soul psychology. Because of this, many remain stuck in the negative ego. They are taught that they cannot transcend the negative ego but must adjust to it. It is simply not true that you cannot transcend the negative ego.

    

If you are wondering why your personal relationships sometimes feel like they are being conducted more on a field of battle than on a field of unconditional love, then we have much to learn. If your emotional and mental bodies have you swinging like a pendulum instead of feeling steady in a state of inner peace and contentment, again we have much to learn.

If you’re eager to heal and learn your lessons in this life, then you are on your way, as the following classes will be for all those who wish to properly integrate and synthesize the spiritual, psychological and physical aspects of self into a comprehensive, unified whole. What you must realise is that you can work out in a gym every day, eat healthfully, and run three times a week, but until you are the master of your subconscious mind, emotional body and negative ego, you are still not complete. You can not truly be healthy by concentrating on just one level, whether it is the physical, the spiritual or the psychological. You must address and work with each on a daily basis. Synthesis and integration are the keys. 

We know that the subconscious mind exerts control over much of our reality.  We are to open our soul eyes so that we can see the unconscious aspects of self that lead to inappropriate actions and put us on the merry go round of unsatisfactorily patterned and programmed behaviour.  Even among the most advanced light workers on the planet, this rift still prevails.

To regain control over our non-reasoning subconscious, we must retain our personal power and resist using it in service to the negative ego. This is one of the most important processes to employ while on our spiritual path. We can never truly realise life purpose and our relationship to Source until the conscious mind masters the subconscious mind. Please remember that whenever you allow your subconscious mind to control you, you have handed over the reins to the negative ego. 

Eg.  A mother who wants to treat her child with respect and unconditional love but resorts to ranting and raving has surrendered herself to the negative ego.  Someone who joins a gym but doesn’t work out, starts a diet but eats the wrong foods, or claims to forgive a wrong done to him but still holds a grudge is within the negative ego’s grasp.  These splits among the subconscious, conscious, and superconscious minds afflict many people, from those oblivious to the spiritual path to the most advanced and sincere light workers. In fact the more advanced we become, the more our unconscious surfaces and the more our negative ego needs to be purified. 

Next class we will discuss the negative ego further, how our thoughts create our reality and to find the truth in exactly how balanced are we. We will also learn to create positive habits through our sub conscious. 

The Seven Universal Laws

There has been lots written about the “law of attraction”, like attracts like etc, but for  many may they still find that there is something missing. The truth is that there is something missing, in fact there are six other laws missing.

All seven laws must be understood and coordinated in order to truly work in alignment for inner peace and manifestation.
The application of the Seven Universal Laws in our daily life may be simple when understood. There is one great element that perhaps embraces all laws and that is energy. Under this one great element aligns the seven laws of the universe.

1. The Universal Law of Mentalism. "The All is Mind - The Universe is Mental".
Everything we see and experience in our physical world has its origin in the invisible, mental realm.

There is a single Universal Consciousness - the Universal Mind - from which all things manifest. All energy and matter at all levels is created by and is subordinate to the Omnipresent Universal Mind. Your mind is part of the Universal Mind.  

2. The Universal Law of Vibration  Everything that starts from a thought to an object is in a continuing state of vibration. For a fact, nothing rests. Small atoms of energy vibrate at various degrees of frequencies where if the frequency is very high, the vibration is concentrated and more powerful that can form various things. The most powerful type of energy is thought and thought pertains to things. Your awareness of these thoughts is what is known as feelings. Your thoughts manipulate the patterns of vibration you produce. Thus what you are attracting is inline with the objects you are vibrating. And with your thoughts you are able to attract positive and negative vibrations. So it is best to be careful of the things that you are thinking as they are able to materialise. Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative.

3. The Universal Law of Relativity. All things in life come to existence because of association. The beautiful exists because of its association the ugly. Likewise, the good exist because of its comparison to the bad. In the beginning there is no such thing as good or bad, hot or cold or big or small. Everything comes into existence only when you put it into comparison, where contrast and association becomes obvious.

4. The Universal Law of Polarity. With the law of relativity comes the law of polarity where all things have an opposite: yin-yang, black or white, night or day, good or bad, success or failure. Therefore one can’t exist without the other where there wouldn’t be black if there is no white. There wouldn’t be bad if there were no good. Opposite poles always go together with no exemptions. It is always best to view what is good in a person in the same way that we view what is good in our life. This attracts good vibration and therefore good results come out of it. Compliment people with the good and let them feed on the positive thoughts from it.

5. The Universal Law of Rhythm. The Principle of Rhythm embodies the idea that in everything there is manifested a measured motion, a to and fro, a flow and inflow, a swing backward and forward, a pendulum-like movement. Everything that is in existence is dancing with a rhythm. When something moves back, something must move forward. Just like the sun comes after the rain or night follows the day and a smile comes after a tear. Life is full of rhythm and we all have to learn how to dance with it. You can be the best dancer when you are able to understand the rhythm of life.

6. The Universal Law of Cause and Effect. The events that occur in our life are a matter of cause and effect. Whatever you throw up (cause) must come down (effect), in the same manner that whatever you give out will come back to you. Whatever action you do, there comes a reaction. So watch your actions, good deeds are rewarded with good deeds, good words are rewarded the same way. So if you want to get something in return start planting a good deed and you will harvest plenty in the future. At present, you don’t have to think of what you can get but focus on what you are able to give.

7. The Universal Law of Gender. Creation is associated with the law of gender where as nothing is really created or ruined in the process. These things that appear new are results of changes. Changes do occur everyday consciously or unconsciously, and that relates to evolution. Change may be a result of adapting to the environment and other factors. One thing is for sure though, change has to happen and it goes through a gestation period to fulfill the changes. So if you sow today, be patient as everything has its own incubation period.